Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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