My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
