Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
