Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
