Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
