RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
and she was petting her beer can
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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