Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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