'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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