I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Still dying that you shit outside
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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