You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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