Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
