You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
