she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
