i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
