Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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