i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
