I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I love you. Go after that dick
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
