I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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