Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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