she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
