Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
