Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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