end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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