You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
