We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
