I just saw a hot homeless man
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she smelled like a LAN party
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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