Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
