I'm really into asian looking animals
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
