he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
we're so committed to being not committed
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
