My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
