I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The adults are the big ones right?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
