it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
