I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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