You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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