Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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