I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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