yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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