Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
