he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
