Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
