I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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