I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
