If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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