He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
