dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
