i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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