We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
