I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
how drunk are you?
Several
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
