My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
porn star boner night. come get it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
