well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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